I am still not able to find what I am supposed to do. I am unable to find purpose in this world, and it’s not getting better any day. Am I supposed to just live the life, live the Karma I have, and just leave the world without any real impact. The way most of us live our life being just a data is very fascinating to me. I dont just want to be a datapoint and live like one. I want to make sure I live a life fulfilling and with purpose and impact. I always have a very unnerving thought about myself as I have never been able to live my life as a proper human being neither have I been able to do a lot more in this lifetime. Maybe this lifetime is supposed to be not interesting for me, or am I supposed to live like this, in fear, shivering, and doing nothing, becoming a disappointment in myself. It feels not worth to live like this, but if this really is the world of karma as it seems to be, what’s the point of fearing that I didn’t do much in this lifetime. I am trying to gain mokshya as I do not want anything to do with this world anymore. I’m tired of doing things, and my soul definitely has gotten tired. A tired soul isn’t interested in anything and I feel like that’s the thing going on with me. My soul is tired of this, again and again, bored of doing things repeateadly, with this rat race and crazy philosophies, stories, works and anything. I look physically tired, but in fact my soul is the tired one, not the body. I cannot keep up this way, I feel like healing is a sole purpose of my life, however, I’ve lost interest in everything. I cannot focus on anything as well. This is crazy to think I now waste my time playing games and doing nothing while panicking about not doing anything. I live in a constant fear, anxiety and pain, it feels weird. It’s never ending as well, so it makes me feel worse every day, wake up late at night, and achieve nothing.